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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the reliable retreat of your Daily, and publications remain attentive of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to find out that an online journalist Adrian Chiles possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs at his home. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom a little too literally, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo midway through a 2015 losing match against Fleetwood Town. “His footwear was missing and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to use the facilities in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a pupil informed the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled round the campus acting like the owner.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager post a quick discussion within a restroom stall together with Football Association official David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the legendary venue. According to Davies' personal account, his confidential FA records, he had entered the sodden struggling national team changing area right after the game, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the director to convince Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies tried desperately to salvage the situation.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Merely one possibility emerged. The toilet cubicles. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past took place in the vintage restrooms of a venue scheduled for destruction. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I closed the door after us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, subsequently confessing he considered his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably in the quarter of a century since. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Current Reports

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for women's football cup news concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes referees were previously subjected to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to manage the main squad. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and provided some branded items, I've opted to write and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|